Throughout High School I believed the lies of my teachers and classmates that I was not smart. After graduating from college, I continued to believe it. In fact, I feared conversations because I might reveal my stupidity. As I learned alongside my children, making my own notebooks and sharing ahas with them, I began to gain confidence in my intelligence and communication. Our love for each other grew stronger every day and nothing can replace the feeling of watching them learn and receive revelation for their own lives.

2. Life’s Challenges are the Lesson

Life is full of challenges and trials from which we get to learn. Our challenges included personality clashes to the point of arguments and everyone complaining at the same time. We started out homeschooling so poor that we used the back side of discarded real estate fliers from Thom’s work for our notebooks. Our seventh child was in and out of the hospital for four years with liver transplant complications and internal bleeding. Two of our sons were in different hospitals at the same time, one with RSV and the other with liver rejection. We have worked through five home births, the loss of our home and other dreams, living in a two- bedroom basement apartment with eight children and major learning disabilities.

Our latest challenge is having Thom at home while he recovers from a virus that attacked his heart leaving it functioning at 25%. Life’s challenges are our homeschool/life lessons, they teach us how to solve real life problems, how to work together and find peace in the storms.

3. Success can be Found in Daily Routines

My son who had a stroke had many physical and learning disabilities. He took a lot longer to learn things than any of my other children. For example, we had to teach him to climb a ladder by doing it with him a few times every day and at first, physically moving him through the process, then talking him through it. Finally, we had him talk himself through it until he was able to do it without thinking about it. This is how he is currently learning to read. When he reviews the sounds of the letters daily he continues to make progress and can read words, but if he skips one day his progress stops and he has to begin again.

Homeschooling is like this, it is successful when we study daily. Consistent learning yields a great education.

4. Creativity Inspires Connection

When we struggled with getting along the learning never happened. One day I was frustrated because no one was listening to the lesson, so I sent them outside to the backyard. I soon joined them and ended up playing in the leaves, creating forts and laughing together. I took a picture of the children in the leaves and put it up on my wall. Weeks later a friend admired the photo and I said, “That was a horrible day!” She said, “I’d love to be a part of your horrible days.” She was right, we had made something beautiful out of a rough day and we returned and completed our assignments happily. When mental learning is not happening, doing something creative inspires connection and prepares the mind.

5. Recording Creates Lasting Memories

Creating notebooks has been the single most joyful thing we have done in our homeschooling experience. These notebooks have become a source of memories, of recalling lessons and for teaching and mentoring others. My son asked for his English reference notebook while on his mission so that it could help him learn other languages. Record keeping is fun and the pages become personal textbooks and books of remembrance for each of us.

I wish I had known these principles when I started.

Ten years into homeschooling, I was a happy mother of seven with a hard decision, “Should I put my children in public school?”

My seventh child was born without a bile duct (biliary atresia). He underwent an unsuccessful surgery, was placed on the liver transplant list and continued to get worse. Our “new normal” would be in and out of the hospital therefore I would not be available much. Homeschool had become our way of life, our daily routine and our passion! After a family meeting, three of our children chose to go to public school. After a successful transplant everyone returned home to learn together.

I aspire to teach my children using a system: 1) remember who they are, 2) receive and record personal revelation, 3) relate and act on their knowledge, 4) recognize principles, 5) retain by sharing with others and 6) rejoice in new wisdom and begin again with the new situation.

The wonderful thing about homeschooling is watching my children learn something new and experiencing their ahas first hand. The best thing is watching them confidently make inspired decisions, apply their knowledge wisely and lovingly teach each other.

Homeschooling is an accelerated way to learn patience, tolerance, and true connection. I chose the vehicle of homeschooling to help me develop these virtues. You can too. Christ qualifies those that have the desire. If you have been thinking about it then jump in. You will be lead to your mentors, just as I was. And one day you’ll have your child say to you, as my daughter said to me, “Mom, you are my best mentor.”

Tresta Neil is a veteran homeschool mother of eight. She learned principles and practices right alongside of her children for years and currently teaches them to other parents to help make their journey easier. Her passion is in researching truth and symbols and sharing them with others. To learn more about her products and programs please visit her website at www.KeystoneEd.com. Her unique resume includes sitting on a cactus.

The Secret of our future is hidden in our Daily Routine!

The first few years of marriage and having children it was difficult to have family prayer and scripture study let alone have Family Home Evening. So we dedicated ourself to start small. We first began adding a family devotional to our daily routine. We sang a song, read a few verses of scripture, memorized a poem and monthly theme, said our family laws (love, joy, obedience, manners, order, peace and service), had a family prayer and ended with our chant (Have a great day! N-E-I-L Neil’s are Champions!!). This created consistency and unity in our lives. Mary had a consistent daily routine.

As Mary raised Jesus there were many sorrows and disappointments, but she stood strong and firm in her belief. She KNEW who she was: The Mother of the Son of God! I KNOW I am a daughter of God and a Mother of Great Ones so now I can stand strong and say, “be it unto me, Lord, according to Thy will.”

For more “Motherhood Keyz” see Keystoneeducation.wordpress.com or Keystone Education on facebook.

We again traveled to Utah and Thom signed me up for another conference. I went, took notes, talked to people, still no answer on social life. The last class was a woman of twelve children. She talked about how she organized her laundry, her meals, the cleaning schedule and her teaching routine. I was impressed how she could do so much. But what I loved the most was her stories about how she taught her children, how patient she was. I could see myself teaching primary or Sunday School classes, but I couldn’t visualize my own children until the woman spoke. She taught her children the gospel and added in secular learning.

My heart resonated with this woman (I still don’t know who she is), her message and the curriculum she used. It was the Noah Plan created by the Foundation for American Christian Education (F.A.C.E.) She talked about teaching principles, centering all learning on Christ, and the creation of individual notebooks that become personal textbooks. This idea stirred up many emotions and questions. “Could learning be individual?” I recalled all the times during school I would be interested in going deeper into a subject and was stopped because it didn’t fit into the curriculum or we had to move on because of time. “Could homeschooling be different?” My professor taught me, through anatomy and physiology, how angels could stand in the air. “Could ALL learning be like that? Centered on the good news of Christ?” I changed my focus, “Could my children learn all the required subjects with the gospel?”

The biggest reason I chose to serve a full time mission was so I could learn the scriptures so well that I could use them directly in teaching and disciplining my children. This did not turn out exactly how I had visualized. I was constantly tired and I often yelled at my children. I was not using the scriptures as a mother at all. This angel woman was showing me that all my dreams I had as a mother could be a reality.

“Could homeschooling assisting me in achieving this desire?” My answer came, I experienced a transformation, a complete paradigm shift, “Oh, Tresta,” I remember thinking, “you’re going to be a homeschooler.” I felt a little giddy about the possibilities and a lot of fear in my ability, but I was willing to try it. My next thought was, “Thom’s going to be happy,” and he was. He listened to my desires and plans with a smile on his face the whole way home.

God was kind and miraculously sent me a mentor, LuJean Livingston. She had discovered the Noah Plan in a hotel drawer in California. She felt it was the answer for Latter-day Saint homeschoolers. She flew out to Virginia to learn all the details and returned to share it with us. Our small group met once a month. She opened up the scriptures and showed me how every subject was found in the scriptures. She taught me how to find principles in classic books, the difference between doctrines and principles, how I could teach my children to identify true principles and have them come up with their own applications. Her guidance became my life line and the beginning of a wonderful education and experience for me and my children.

Years later, I remember sitting in my living room with all my children and we were discussing how chaotic life would be if rocks could “serve two masters.” We were laughing and learning and thinking deeply together and my mind floated away. My childhood vision of motherhood was here and now a perfect reality. Homeschooling had been the tool. God is in charge – he helps our dreams become reality.

Throughout the next twenty plus years I have received a deeper conviction that God is in charge. Here are my top seven truths about motherhood:

1 Parents are the best teachers for their children no matter their “schooling” experience.

A child cannot learn until he knows he is loved and parents love their children more than anyone else in the whole wide world. My first son and I had multiple personality conflicts. He wanted to rule the house, schedule our days and tell everyone what to do. It was a difficult beginning trying to teach him that I was the parent and not his child. I finally had had it and took it to the Lord. I felt impressed to just hold him, to rock him. So the next day he rocked back and forth and while rocking he talked to me and told me his fears and his desires to do big things in a fast way. We discovered a way to work together. After that experience I wondered if any teacher would have cared for him and taken the time to understand why he did the things he did. I don’t believe so. Parents are their child’s best teacher.

Throughout High School I believed the lies of my teachers and classmates, that I was not smart. After graduating from college, I continued to believe it. In fact, I feared conversations because it might reveal my lack of intelligence. As I learned alongside my children, making my own notebooks and sharing ah-ha’s with them I discovered that even poor students can be great teachers because as I took the time to teach I was taught. I gained confidence in many areas.

2 Life’s Challenges are the Lesson not the Interruption.

Life is full of challenges and trials we get to learn from. Our challenges included personality clashes to the point of arguments and everyone complaining at the same time. We started out homeschooling so poor that we used the back side of discarded real estate fliers from Thom’s office for our notebooks. Our seventh child was in and out of the hospital for four years with liver transplant complications and internal bleeding. Two of our sons were in different hospitals at the same time, one with RSV and the other with liver rejection. We have worked through five home births, the loss of our home and other dreams, living in a two bedroom basement apartment and minor to major learning disabilities. Our latest challenge is having Thom at home while he recovers from a virus that attacked his heart leaving it functioning at 25%. We no longer question why these challenges have come to us, nor do we see them as interruptions to our routine or groove. These challenges are the lesson God is giving us. They teach us many things, some of which are how to manage our emotions, to strengthen relationships and find peace in the storms just as Christ did.

3 Success can be Found in Consistent Daily Routines.

My son who had a stroke has many physical and learning disabilities. He took a lot longer to learn things than any of my other children. We had to teach him to climb a ladder by going out with him a few times every day and, at first physically moving him through the process, then talking him through it and finally having him talk himself through until he was able to do it without thinking about it. This is how he is currently learning to read. When he reviews the sounds of the letters daily he continues to make progress and read words, but if he skips one day his progress stops and he has to begin again. I heard Mike Murdock speak about wisdom and one thing that stuck with me all these years was, “The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine!” I plan my days around how I want my future to look. I ask myself, “Do todays activities reflect who I am spiritually and how I see my family in the millennium?” We are successful because of what we consistently do on a daily basis. Consistent learning yields a great education. Elder Scott said, “A consistent, righteous life produces an inner power and strength that can be permanently resistant to the eroding influence of sin and transgression.”

4 Creativity and Play Inspires Connection and Learning.

When we struggle with getting along, learning and growth can not happen. I remember one day I was frustrated that no one was listening to my lesson so I sent them outside to the backyard. I later joined them. They were playing in the leaves, creating forts and laughing together. I took a picture of the children in the leaves and put it up on my wall. Weeks later a friend admired the photo and I said, “That was such a horrible day!” She made a statement that stuck with me. “I sure would like to be a part of your horrible days.” We laughed. She was right, it didn’t look like a “horrible day.” We had made something beautiful out of a rough day. We even finished the lesson with smiles and joyful hearts. From that experience I learned that when mental learning is not happening or negative emotions are taking over, doing something physical or creative will prepare the mind and inspires the learning connection.

5 Recording Creates Lasting Memories.

Creating notebooks of our learning and adventures has been the single most joyful thing we have done in our family experience. These notebooks have become a source of memories, of recalling lessons and for teaching and mentoring others. My son asked for his English reference notebook while on his mission so that it could help him learn other languages. Record keeping is fun and the pages become personal textbooks and books of remembrance for each of us.

6 Boredom Breed Brilliance

Don’t get too freaked out on this statement. It comes with a caveat of “within the right environment.” Basically, give your children lots of freedom. Don’t over schedule them or hover over them. Allow them time to be alone, to think, help them learn how to keep from being idle and allowing bad thought in. Freedom to think and create on their own makes their minds sharper.

7. “I am not responsible for how my children turn out”

This is a great mantra to memorize and have settle in your heart. You are responsible for how and what you teach them, but they are responsible for their own choices. Knowing this can help you relax and not worry. It is hard for some mothers to not take their children’s choices personally. This is how God teaches us, he tells us the consequences of the good choices and the bad choices and then allows us to choose. He loves us no matter what we choose. This does not effect his self worth or status. Teach you children consequences with love and allow them to choose and don’t be attached or feel guilty about their choices. When I fail to remember this principle my job gets hard. When I turn again to God and allow him to teach my child the way he sees fit, then I have the easiest job in the world, and the most rewarding. Remember God is in charge.

Years ago, I created a long check list of the many things I want my children to learn before they left home. It still hangs on our wall. The adult children get a kick out of looking at what they checked off and telling stories of how they learn it. And my younger ones listen and look forward to learning all of them. But here is the reality. There are only a few things I want my children to absolutely know before they leave my home. I want my children to be converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ and know:

1. How the spirit speaks to them personally, therefore, how to learn
2. Me, my heart, my mind, my testimony
3. The plan of happiness and all its parts (the big and the small picture)
4. How to share their hearts and the bounteous blessings of God

Friends have asked me, “Would you be homeschool mother if you knew then what you know now?” The answer is a resounding, “Yes!” For me, homeschooling is what makes motherhood sparkle! All the answers to the questions I had at the beginning, “Could my children learn all subjects centered in God?” “Could scriptures be used for all learning and discipline?” “Could my children survive without the social life of public school?” are being answered daily. Just as the answers to the fundamental questions of life like, who created us? who is God? was the resurrection of Christ really physical? and does it apply to me? continues to unfold as we ponder and is the sparkle in our lives.

Continual seeking for answers to fundamental questions makes a big difference to our family in the way we view the world and the things we choose to do as a family. God is in charge, he helps parents learn to teach, and children one day become parents, what a beautiful cycle of which we are all apart.

Tresta Neil is a passionate learner, the keeper of her home and a seeker of truth. She and her husband, Thom, homeschool their eight children. Together they are the co-founder of Keystone Education and Called to Learn which provide trainings for families in faith centered learning, relationships and gospel centered symbols. She is the author of The Theology Tree, grafting the eight core subject branches back on God’s divine trunk, God Saw that it was Good, How to Discover God in a Circle and other symbology books. She has a passion for learning and sharing. Her favorite subject is the stars. She once (only once) sat on a cactus, ask her about it.

We live with the laws whether we know them or not but we can learn to work in harmony with them by choosing or taking action based on true doctrine and correct principles in harmony with the laws of the universe. My daughter, who now was completely in the conversation concluded with, “This act of working in harmony with the laws can only bring happiness and joy to our lives.”